🙀 Chapter 2: That advice today would not only cause clutched pearls...
Published: Wed, 06/28/23
Where was I? Ah yes! 'tis I, the Barb portion of the Dennis and Barb Partnership and when last we met, I had introduced a truly huge problem that I had, and proceeded to tell you how it all came about.
Just to refresh your memory (cue "Last week in Star Trek: (fill in your fav series 😀 ), I had mentioned:
"Welp, for me, it all started long long ago, back when cavemen were still debating about whether to upgrade from stone tools to rock tools and I was in elementary school. Due to being a weeeeeeee bit, ahem, weird, I never really knew how to build long-term friendships, and unfortunately that made me a target to school bullies. And although my parents *tried* to understand
and give useful advice but they truly never grokked it until my 7th grade..."
Why? Well, back then I figured that due to their vast Old Age (to any 11 year old kid, every parent is of a Venerable Age), they must have forgotten how utterly horrendous kids can be. Everything from the vicious Queen Bee (who *must* be the center of attention and to whom the other Social
... you get the picture.
Anywhos, for 3 solid years (!), my folks would try to "motivate" me into... well, I really don't know. I *do* vividly remember how my dad responded to one daily tale of woe with: "isn't it fascinating how sound waves that impinge on one's eardrum can affect their mood?"
Great commentary there, Dad, just great.
Another time, the AotD (Advice of the Day) was to "simply ignore it." Even today, I read about parents who give this nugget of lala land advice and the sheer naivety of it sincerely baffles me. I mean, would you tell someone who is being chomped upon by a rabid Sabre-Toothed Tiger to "simply ignore it"? That's what bullying seems like to the kid who is being driven to desperation and more... due to their not-yet-developed sense of self and immaturity, kids simply *can't* ignore it. They lack the self-confidence and mindfulness TO ignore it.
Sigh.
So anywhos, there I was, the epitome of the loser kid who would come home crying just about every day. But it all finally changed when my mom bought the clue that Jeepers, it's been now 3+ years that Barb has been talking about this... maybe we *should* treat it like the violent situation it was.
Here's how she dealt with it. My mom told me to simply punch the next kid who picked on me. I told her that "fighting isn't allowed in school, and anyone who does will be automatically suspended" (yep, we had zero tolerance even back then, just around after square wheels were ditched in favor of circular ones. And don't even get me started on the idjut "guidance counselors" that inhabited the school ecosystem; I still remember exactly how I felt when I was sternly informed that fighting was simply Not Allowed).
To my surprise, my mom replied, "Fight and get suspended, and we'll reward you."
Talk about a massive motivation!
The next day, the herd of LBoB (Let's Beat on Barb!) kids ran over to me during lunch recess, and this time, the main Queen Bee received a punch to the stomach instead of the gratifying crying she was used to. Then it was On with a capital O! And extremely surprised to realize that LBoB actually now had painful consequences, after that... the bullying just plain... stopped.
Yep. All it required was me standing up for myself. And those human vultures looked for easier prey. Go figure.
So, with that chapter of my life over, I thought it would be 'way more smooth sailing going forward.
Never was I more wrong than with that particular assumption.
Why? Alas, as this email already is 'waay too long, I'll answer that in the next installment! But I'll give you a hint - it was for a reason that is nowadays known as something rather serious, but back then was dismissed with "oh, that kid will be impossible to help because that kid is ... what do you think that kid was?
Tune in tomorrow and see!
Have a strongly spectacular day,
Barb Ling and Dennis Becker
DAB Coaching
P.S. Speaking of mindfulness (and adding how easy ChatGPT makes writing eMails like what you've just read, have you checked out the DAB Prompt Portal? Right now, it's at 94% savings... and that founders deal?
Check it out HERE to see!
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